December 2011
Today at the movies
Me: Hi. I'd like two tickets to Sherlock Holmes: A Gay of Shadows?
Ticket Seller: Yeah su- Wait, what?
Me: Sherlock Homes: A Gay of Gay.
Ticket Seller: I don't-
Me: Sherlock Gay: A Gay of Gay Gay.
Ticket Seller: Sir I-
Me: Gay Gay: Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay.
Ticket Seller: That-
Me: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
new year's eve 2008: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2009 is better
new year's eve 2009: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2010 is better
new year's eve 2010: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2011 is better
new year's eve 2011: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2012 is better
I can't even text without writing long, nice...
nicoosuxx:
And then my friends reply back like, “k c u then!!”
Stepping out the shower and feeling like the...
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beezusporter:
umhi-im-alexis:
pushing-lackadaisies:
likeamanatee:
collectingyourvictims:
why is it called a training bra
what are you training for
the bra olympics
the boob championships
you are training for WOMANHOOD
ugh no I hate the term “training bra”
it’s like they’re saying you don’t know how to wear a bra without proper training or some shit
I never even owned a...
My family when someone wakes up before anyone...
Me: Tips toes quietly through the house, trying not to make a sound.
Everyone else: Let me just stomp through out the house, slam a bunch a doors, and bang some pots together in the kitchen, I'm sure no one will mind.
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
me: whoops
That awkward moment when you fall in love with a...
carmexqueen:
people who think tumblr is a place free of judgement and full of love
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